just come out here and I will go home with you...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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