I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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