You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
