no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
