Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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