i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
