Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize