see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
