Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
