Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
