the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So vagazzling was a success
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
