wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
