Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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