she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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