There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
