it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
