then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
