she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
