i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Someone shattered a urinal.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
