Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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