At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Sorry my hands just texted you
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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