I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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