If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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