did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
