She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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