We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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