I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
