Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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