She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
