the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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