ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
