I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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