i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
