Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
