The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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