marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
