I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you had me at cake vodka
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
