yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
