She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
