you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
