dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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