so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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