Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
