just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize