no, he came in my armpit
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i drank out of a bidet.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
