i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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