Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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