how can u be prego again
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
