Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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