I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
