So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
