Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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