Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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