At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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