Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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