Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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