She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
