I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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