I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
