I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
