you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
my poor anus
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
