i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's blow job season.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
