I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
