Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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