never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
