I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My ATM looks so different sober.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
